I really laughed about this one (Smart Kid) 
A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only." Since they were without their boyfriends or parents, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors...go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside" So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads "All the men here have it short and thin"...the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the Second floor reads "All the men here have it long and thin". Still, this wasn't good enough so the friends move up to the Third floor, where the sign reads "All the men here have it short and thick". This was still another disappointment, but knowing there are still 2 floors left, they move on to the next floor. In the Fourth floor, the sign was perfect. "All the men here have it long and thick" The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is one floor left. Wondering what they were missing, they go to the Fifth floor, where the sign read" "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman" |
MY NEW NAME IS Sleezy chickenlips.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS. We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute. Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not. Here is your dose of humor... A. Follow the instructions to find your new name. B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family & co-worker s. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you so they know you participated. And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known far & wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer! The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names... So: 1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name: a = snickle b = doombah c = goober d = cheesey e = crusty f = greasy g = dumbo h = farcus i = dorky j = doofus k = funky l = boobie m = sleezy n = sloopy o = fluffy p = stinky q = slimy r = dorfus s = snooty t = tootsie u = dipsy v = sneezy w = liver x = skippy y = dinky z = zippy 2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = dippin b = feather c = b atty d = burger e = chicken f = barffy g = lizard h = waffle i = farkle j = monkey k = flippin l = fricken m = bubble n = rhino o = potty p = hamster q = buckle r = gizzard s = lickin t = snickle u = chuckle v = pickle w = hubble x = dingle y = gorilla z = girdle 3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = butt b = boob c = face d = nose e = hump f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = head l = tush m = chunks n = dunkin o = brains p = biscuits q = toes r = doodle s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = frack w = squirt x = humperdinck y = hiney z = juice Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny. Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your day. |
